(from “What Happens in Vegas”–Chong is trying to schmooze her boss–and he’s not buying it)

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We have all had to put up with our fair share of suck ups at work. They constantly tell the boss how great she looks, and never show up to the boss’s office empty handed. The schmoozing never ends. So, what do these acts of utter transparency get them? Paid, my friend, paid. There are many benefits of being the office suck up. In fact, it should be looked at as an art form.

The best at it do it without anyone ever catching on that they are, in fact, suck ups. The more covert the actions, the better and more effective it is. It is not hard to achieve the highest level of this art form. Simply match your boss. Mimic his or her energy levels, methods of working and even demeanor. People like what they are familiar with, and it will also be a way to bond with your superior.

This form of severe flattery will get you more than just being on your boss’s good side. The more trust your boss has in you, the more likely you are to receive the high profile projects. It is these projects that will raise your status in the office, and put you in prime position for the next raise or promotion that is handed out.

You may even gain the ear of your boss. With this direct hotline, you can make suggestions and pass on ideas. With this open line of communication, you will have the ability to shine. Fascinate your boss with your great ideas. Though, with some bosses, your idea should be intermingled with your boss’s. This will show that you both are on the same page and that you agree (even if only slightly) with your boss.

If you can develop a good connection with your superior, you will probably find that you are working on the
boss’s pet projects. These projects are reserved for the best, so this will most definitely boost your stature and credibility in the office.

When executed properly, sucking up at work is not the despicable action that it is sometimes made out to be. In fact, many view it as workplace survival. Office politics can play many different roles in the workplace. The tougher the office’s environment is to navigate, the more important it is to get a leg up anyway possible. Sucking up is a legitimate (and legal) way to do it.

Sucking up should not be reserved for those ranking above you alone. View everyone as a possible ally. You should want everyone to be on your team. Think of them as back up players waiting to be called in. Having a great “team” behind you will only benefit you in the future. Your reserve list can (and will) help you at the most opportune time.

The higher you can climb on the workplace ladder, the higher the level you will achieve. Some people don’t care what they have to do to get there, and sucking up seems the most harmless. What do you think? Suck up or not?