When "Yes, We Can" Helps You Say "Yes, I Can."

By Chandlee Bryan

Democratic strategist and pundit James Carville speaks his mind, and what he says is frequently challenged by others. (Did I mention he's married to Republican strategist Mary Matalin?) But I think few will disagree with Carville's opinion on 2008:

You know, people will insist that 2008 had 366 days. I don't believe it. I think it had 36,066 days. It certainly felt much longer than any year that I've ever experienced.

I couldn't agree more. I live in Manhattan where yesterday's Metro covered MLK, the inauguration, and the "gloom and doom": our fair city is forecast to have the highest number of job losses in 2009. There are times when it isn't great to be above average...

No one wishes for a plane crash, but I think last week's "Miracle in the Hudson River" gave people a dose of optimism which continued through Martin Luther King day. Supporters of the new Obama administration also have it in today's Inauguration. After all, the first definition of inaugurate is "to make a formal beginning of; initiate; commence; begin."

After a year that felt like 36,066 days, a sense of hope and the prospect of a new beginning is both popular and contagious. For many, it puts the swing back into the step.

But it doesn't work for everyone. In my work with private clients and as a facilitator of programs for a MeetUp group of job seekers, I frequently hear a common refrain: New Year's resolutions for the job search are hard to keep. With a continuation of layoffs and hiring freezes, individual momentum can be difficult to maintain. As one of my group members said to me recently, "If I make it outside, it's a good day. It's just hard to keep going."

My non-partisan advice in these situations? Borrow a phrase from the Obama campaign: Try saying "Yes, We Can" before telling yourself "Yes, I Can." Get active on the Secrets of the Job Hunt community and make friends who can help you accomplish your goals. There is a reason why Weight Watchers, Team in Training, and the Biggest Loser often work for weight loss and improved fitness: there is proven strength in working with a community to effect personal change. It works better than trying it on your own. (Note: One of my personal motivators is my friend and colleague Miriam Salpeter, whose MLK day reflection on the role of hope and hard work inspired me to write this piece!)

I share this advice courtesy of one of my favorite authors, Gordon Livingston. Dr. Livingston is an extraordinary Psychiatrist who has experienced more than his share of personal pain in his life: He lost two children, one to leukemia and one to suicide. He writes about how he lived through the experience and shares additional lessons learned in Vietnam and through his work with clients in his practice. One of his nuggets of wisdom: Feelings follow behavior.

In other words, if you're feeling down, don't bank on waking up one morning and feeling better all on your own--get moving now! This is why I recommend group participation and even "faking" enthusiasm if you need to for the short-term. (You can--and should be--honest with yourself and examine the emotions behind your feelings, as part of the process.)

You may find that the act of saying, "Yes, We Can" helps you say "Yes, I Can" sooner than you think.

Let me know if this works for you, and if I can help you get unstuck.

To your success,
Chandlee Bryan